I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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