The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
