Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
