ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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