I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm too high and old for this...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize