So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
