How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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