if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize