im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
