This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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