Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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