Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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