Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My dick has a subreddit
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
