The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
