Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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