She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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