Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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