Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize