the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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