Don't you send me to vm
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
