I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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