12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize