I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
smell my finger.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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