i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
