So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize