Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
