K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
