really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
