i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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