u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
