Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
