party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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