Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
