my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
