My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
