You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
