Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I will be naked everywhere
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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