she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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