An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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