He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
