bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
