I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No subtext here. People are naked.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
