there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
