Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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