it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
