just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
