Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
