So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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