I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
