Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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