The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
this boner is exhausting
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
