The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
