She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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