Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
