It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
