brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
