Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize