Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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