i already hear my dad disowning me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
