i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
