I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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