This girl is more easily done than said...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
