There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize