I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
