worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
