the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Enjoy the penises
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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