I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize